


a light everlasting

by pureblood_whovian



Series: daffodils [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureblood_whovian/pseuds/pureblood_whovian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>“Despite my pain, I felt not the regret of an ending, but the foreboding of a beginning.”</em> </p><p>for <a href="http://www.lukegarrowayisamaincharacter.tumblr.com">@lukegarrowayisamaincharacter</a>'s birthday!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	a light everlasting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mindiangiwro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindiangiwro/gifts).



> everyone go wish [gowri](http://www.lukegarrowayisamaincharacter.tumblr.com) a happy birthday!!!!! hopefully she likes this mess where i basically cry abt luke for 900 words (she's emo like me tho so i think we should be fine)!! title is from a poem that i've forgotten the name but oh well!! the quote in the summary is from [here](http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/68488.Fool_s_Errand).

He is a werewolf now. When did his life become this?

He stops calling himself Lucian. He can't stand the name anymore: it reminds him too much of the dark days of the Circle, of the awful things he did, of the tricks Val- Valentine played on him. Jocelyn agrees to call him Luke instead. Luke Garroway.

Luke Garroway becomes a NYPD cop. He enjoys it more than he expects, working with mundanes not nearly as awful as he had once been taught. It's easier with Alaric by his side. Being part of a pack is unfamiliar at first, but then it starts to feel so right.

He's grateful, so grateful, because these people could have shunned him. They could've turned him away after all he's done to their kind, _his kind_ now.

Jocelyn insists Clary can know nothing. Luke disagrees, but Jocelyn takes her to Magnus Bane anyway to get her memories wiped. 

Everything stays fine.

\---

It's Clary's birthday when it all goes to hell.

Luke loses both of them, Clary and Jocelyn, in the space of a day.

He spends the next week searching for them. He tries to stay cool and collected, but Alaric can see right through him.

"We'll find them," says Alaric, late at night when they're both still at the station, shuffling through files. "We'll find Jocelyn and Clary and they're both going to be okay."

Luke wants to believe him.

\---

He is alpha now and nothing has ever felt more right. Maybe it was stupid to fight Theo like that, but Clary and her new friends were in trouble. Maybe he was always meant to do this, to _be_ this.

Alaric and all the others bow to him. 

Of course that's when he starts to collapse, the poison of the alpha bite catching up with him. He doesn't remember much after, just Clary's gentle touch as she guided him to the car, dreaming of Jocelyn, waking up in Magnus' loft, begging the warlock to Clary the story.

Magnus nods and Luke feels immeasurably grateful. If the Downworld is united in one thing, it is their hatred of Valentine. 

\---

When Luke truly awakes, he tells Clary the whole story. In a way he's been dreading this just as much as Jocelyn has.

It's a long awful story that takes a long time to tell. Everytime Luke relives it, he feels more like an idiot for not realising what Valentine was capable of sooner than he had.

"You and my mom?" cries Clary, although she doesn't look upset, just shocked.

"Yes," says Luke, and Clary's face lights up.

"I knew it," she says smugly.

Clary doesn't get it. "But that's what drove Val, I mean-" Luke breaks off, frustrated. He's never been able to shake the habit of calling Valentine 'Val'. Everytime he does, he is reminded of their first meeting, of their bonding ceremony and then the betrayal.

"Valentine," says Luke calmly. "That's what drove Valentine over the edge."

Clary reaches a hand out. "It wasn't your fault, Luke." She still looks at him the same way, so lovingly and gently and _Clary_. Luke almost cries with relief. 

Maybe he can still pretend that life is behind him. 

\--

The forsaken attacks his pack and Luke can no longer pretend. He calls Alec, rather reluctant to trust the Lightwood boy but he sees no other options. He brings Lydia Branwell with him, a Clave official who looks at Luke like she knows all of his wrong doings.

When she slips up and tells Alec about his parents involvement in the Circle, Luke knows that she does.

The devastated look on Alec's face is a familiar one. Luke swallows and tries not to think about how many more lives The Circle will destroy.

\---

If Luke stops to think, he'll realise how much has changed in such little time. To think about it all: Clary's new life, Simon becoming a vampire- it's too much.

Especially Simon. Simon, the little boy who used to bug Luke about going to the comic book store, a vampire? It doesn't feel right. 

"You should put a muzzle on that mutt," says Santiago.

Vampires are still a pain. At least some things never change. 

(But then even that changes soon enough: an alliance, Clary calls it. A mistake, Luke thinks. But whatever gets him Jocelyn back, he'll do. He tries not to think about where she is, what Valentine is doing to her. If he does, he wouldn't be able to function. He has to stay strong for her.)

\---

There is a slight commotion outside the door. Luke springs to his feet, ready to defend Jocelyn. A Clave dignitary barges in and stops short at the sight of him. 

"Oh," he says, his lip curling. "Look what the dog dragged in. Have you seen Maryse Lightwood anywhere?"

Luke frowns. "No. Why?"

The Shadowhunter ignores him. "Figures. I would be hiding in shame as well if my son pulled a stunt like that. Kissing a warlock, a male one-" He breaks off in disgust and with one last, distasteful look at Luke he turns and leaves.

Luke sits down next Jocelyn again and doesn't dare hope, but maybe, just maybe-

"I heard we missed the wedding of the year," he tells her, thinking warmly of Alec Lightwood, the angry boy who might yet learn to care for Downworlders in a way his parents never could. "Maybe one day you and I will be able to share our love publicly." 

The hope is only intensified when Jocelyn finally awakes in his arms, whispering his name. It doesn't matter that last 24 hours have been hell, with Valentine's army's rise, Jace's leaving, Hodges betrayal. 

Hope shines the brightest. 

_Lucian, his mother tells him, means light. You are my little shining light, Lucian._

Maybe Luke can be Lucian again.

**Author's Note:**

> :) you can find me [@faeriemeliorn](http://faeriemeliorn.tumblr.com/) !!!!


End file.
